The Name He couldn't Remember
by Markition Necrovius
Summary: It had happened, it would never change. He wasn't that boy anymore. He'd never get the chance to go back, now. Riku-centric oneshot


A/N: Just a random oneshot I got in my head, so I had to write it down. This takes place between the gap in Chain of Memories and KH2, and uses dialog I stole from scripts of both games, so it should be true. It could be slashy, if you look at it right, but it really isn't anything explicit. More like a very good friendship between Sora and Riku, is all.

--

Defeat...he'd tasted it before. Many times, all at the hand of the same boy, unruly chocolate locks bouncing around a cherubic face that still held proudly every ounce of its baby fat. He'd met with the stingingly blunt edge of the Keyblade, bold colors and sentimental knick-knacks hanging from its hilt. Surprisingly quick, shockingly agile, that boy was eternally locked in the overhand strike that dealt the final blow in his memory, etched into the series of neurons that passed as his memory. Maybe he couldn't remember the boy's name offhand, and maybe he could barely remember who that boy was supposed to be, to him, but it didn't matter. A loss that dealt him more than just a blow to the pride lingered like the metallic taste of blood on the back of his tongue, where it wouldn't fade regardless of how many times he swallowed. That blow had shown him the light, something he hadn't touched in what had seemed like eons...though why, was beyond him, now.

DiZ had told him that would change. If he could bring him the boy named Roxas, he would be able to remember the name of the brunette that he remembered so clearly. And he would be able to remember why something wrenched in his chest, every time he though of him.

But that boy, that Roxas, had just defeated him. Just like those sparkling, immense blue eyes that haunted his every step.

Riku stumbled to his feet long after Roxas had taken his departure, soaked through by the rain that refused to cease. The blindfold weighed heavy against his closed eyelids, but he didn't remove it. He didn't need his eyes, the darkness whispered to him the location of every object around him, with far more clarity than his eyes could ever offer to him. Though...that wasn't the reason he'd covered them originally. He'd been trying, once upon a time, to make things clearer, in more ways than one.

But still, he couldn't remember that name.

Wounds edged at him, made it hard to think past the pain. He bit it back with experience well beyond his age, and began walking. A slow, broken gait, it got him nowhere quite fast, but he didn't feel ready to step into the darkness' portal, yet. Where would he go? Back to DiZ? Not without Roxas. He needed to heal, before he tried again. The thirteenth member of the Nobody's organization wasn't hard to find, he had no worries over that. The World That Never Was held the palace that was the organization's home. But it wouldn't matter, if he couldn't defeat the enigmatic boy.

_"You need the darkness. Submit! Bow to the darkness, and bow to me."_

_"Only darkness can help you now."_

Ansem hadn't been right, had he?

The walls of Castle Oblivion flashed through his mind, as well grinning amber eyes. It had been DiZ, taunting him, trying to wrestle strength out of him. But it had sounded _so much_ like Ansem. And back then, back when he'd used the darkness for his own ends, hadn't he been more powerful? He'd gained strength, so much strength...

The thought was caustic. Echoes of King Mickey's light, bouncy reassurances that he was above the blackness that had claimed him, Ansem's dark temptations. Malificent's warnings, not to let it go too far.

And a dismayed cry, in a voice he recognized but couldn't name, when he'd finally stopped resisting. A shadowed promise, a curt warning, _'take care of her_,_'_ because he couldn't think of anything else to say. Because he'd had to tell him _something_, and apologies were beyond him. He'd needed a constant, needed a promise to which the boy would agree, and a common ground that would still be there, when he saw him again.

_Kairi_...

Was she the only bridge between them, anymore? He'd stood on one side of the door, that boy, that nameless face, on the other.

_"Only darkness can help you now."_

Desperately, he grasped at one of the empty buildings around him for support. It was slick, but even through his gloves he found enough support to keep on his bleeding feet. Ansem hadn't been right. He could walk away, help himself. But he was no longer a creature of light. He was no longer a starry-eyes islander that could use his determination and strength of heart to fight back the ghouls and evils of the world.

His throat constricted on itself, his fist clenched, spastic. He was scared, _so scared_.

But...he couldn't go back to DiZ without Roxas. And...he would never learn that boy's name, without seeing DiZ again. And he needed to know that name. He _needed_ it...like every person he'd once known needed the light.

He pushed away from the building. He knew...it was as sure as every breath he took, he needed whoever that boy was, if he was ever going to be at peace again. And though he'd once shunned peace, he couldn't live like he was. Not forever.

One foot forward, then the next, then the next. Walk until he stood in the center of the courtyard. Heartless ebbed at his mind, physically manifesting themselves like the vultures they were. He let the air held tight in his lungs leak out his open mouth, as he threw his head back, and methodically tore down every wall he'd established since he'd walked into Castle Oblivion. Every wall, to protect what little light he had left, ever since he'd forgotten that name. They came down with surprising ease, falling beneath his grim determination like wet paper. The heartless grew excited, _smelling_ his vulnerability, but didn't come forward. They could also smell the darkness on him, what clung to him like a cloak.

The nearer he got to the darkness, the more power filled the air around him. With a mind of its own, a small light appeared on the ground. It blazed its way through the puddle-ridden cement, forming the heart-like shape of the Heartless' insignia. Is that what stood for darkness, now? The Heartless themselves?

The symbol completed, there was nothing standing between himself and the great abyss he'd once dived into so willingly. He could heart their deranged laughter, the amusement of the tiny voices, tiny eyes staring at him from all directions. They thought his fall from grace was _funny_.

He spared them a glare, through his blindfold, though he knew they could feel it. Seconds later, the black overtook him.

--

He woke up with gritty eyes, tender flesh and a black cloak subtly different from the one he'd been wearing before. His body felt stiff, stiffer than it should have been, even in the cold rain. As he stood, he could have sworn he was taller.

He didn't realize what had happened, the result of his daring dive, until he caught his own reflection in a misted, half-broken window. Tan skin, white hair, amber eyes stared back at him.

That...was what he'd become. For _him_.

--

"But whose nobody is she?"

He furrowed his brow, beneath the blackness of his hood. DiZ turned in his chair, from the screen, smiling beneath strips of red. Images of Namine, the pretty girl in a simple white dress, danced in his skull. She did remind him of someone, he'd just never been able to place who.

"I could tell you...but first, perhaps you could tell me your true name?"

Wily man. He tilted his head to the side, still getting used to the feeling of thick strands of white flitting against the back of his muscled neck. Leather creaked, as he shifted his weight, and reached up to grasp the hood hiding him from view. DiZ deserved to know, if he hadn't figured it out already. He could explain what had happened in detail...but what was the point? It had happened, it would never change. He wasn't that boy anymore. He'd never get the chance to go back, now.

The hood fell around his shoulders, revealing his pinpointed amber eyes to the light. "It's Ansem."

DiZ broke into a fit of laughter, which surprised him. The only sign of his surprise was a faint widening of his vicious eyes, something he was proud of.

"It's an honor, Ansem!"


End file.
